Infinite Introspection:

Dear fellow NU goers, 

To all the people I was dancing with at Reel Big Fish, lets be friends. I found more people I like at this school in that hour set than I have the past eight months. 

It’s all about the outcome. If you lose your priorities along the way and end up revolving your life around drugs, then yeah, youre a fucking loser. But there are so many other great things about ‘em that make all these negative connotations completely uncalled for. And I’m not talking about all drugs; if you touch anything that has the possibility of overdose youre stupid. No matter how experienced you are, no matter how trust worthy the guy who sold it to you is, something could go wrong and you could fucking die. You cant overdose on THC. You cant eat the amount of mushrooms it would take to actually poison you. I’m pretty unclear on the toxicity of acid, but it will sooner steal your sanity than kill you. As ironic as it sounds, it requires a level of intelligence and responsibility to truly enjoy the benefits. 

Last night was a testament to my beliefs. Two hits of acid, and 13 hours of tripping later, I am starting my life on a new page. For basically the past year, even before college, I have given zero fucks about school. My grades are atrocious, I rarely go to class, and I didnt care that my future was falling out from beneath me. Laying on the floor of 812, watching the spots on the ceiling morph into different shapes and animals, I reflected on everything that has been going on. And as Alicia Keys’ Unbreakable played in the background, I realized that I am my own obstacle, and with that realization I knew that I could do anything. I am not going to fail out of Northwestern, I am not going to ruin my dreams of becoming a bomb ass doctor, I am going to kick the shit out of the next three years here, and then the next eight of med school after that. I have nothing standing in my way and the fact that I am here to begin with shows just how much I deserve this. 

And as I relished in that swelling pride I felt, my thoughts circled back to my mother, as they almost always do. As a bit of a background note, my mother was murdered almost seven years ago. Its is crazy to imagine that it was so long ago, especially considering how much guilt and pain I have carried around with me since. And as I lay there thinking about her, I felt the strangest feeling of calmness sweep over me. Now, if I were any sort of religious person, I would almost classify this as some sort of holy phenomena. But to me, all I thought was that without a doubt I knew my mother was happy. That she was proud of me. That I had nothing to feel guilty for. In that moment, seven years in the making, I think I came to terms with my mother’s death. 

So, please, tell me how awful drugs are. Tell me that I should sit here and wallow in self pity as I destroy my life and throw away an amazing opportunity. Tell me that I should continue to drown myself in feelings of guilt and grief. Because I will tell you just how fucking wrong you are. 

The Campus Chalker (faceintheclouds.tumblr.com) followed me. 

Totally fangirling right now. 

Coming across his drawings around campus is always a mood lifter (:

• Plot ways to kill Mary since she is never going to leave now that the drunk bitch dislocated her fake hip. 
• Shower
• Finish Peer Advisor Application
• Read a but load of Cosmology
• Read even more for Origins of Love
• Write a research paper on the use of nanotechnology in regenerative medicine on the central nervous system
• get back to school
• NEVER SLEEP